I fought for nearly a year not to take this job. I didn’t want to do it. I’d done corrections years ago in Mississippi, and I hated it. Florida wouldn’t be any different. Just more money and better benefits. Damn it, that’s how they get you.
So I broke down and applied. They probably wouldn’t hire me anyway, I’m way too overqualified for this job. To my surprise, they called me in for an interview and offered me the job, pending an entire background investigation, medical screen, credit check, and a few drops of blood from my third cousin twice removed’s firstborn baby calf. I didn’t even know he had a calf. Turns out he has two.
After all that, I somehow got the job and went out with my girlfriend and her family to celebrate. One of her family members told me then that my prison is one of the worst in the state.
“Nuh uh,” I said. He had to be messing with me. I looked around at everyone at the table. They were agreeing with him. I had to look it up. And wouldn’t you know it, even Google agreed.
Fuck me.
I wish they had told me that at the interview. Apparently there’s a lot they don’t tell you before your first day at FDC, no matter what institution you work at. So I’m going to do you a solid and tell you what you need to know before you step foot on the compound for the first time.
1. Nobody expects you to know everything. They just expect you to figure everything out. Fast. You’ll spend more time in training than you can imagine, learning about... Not much to be honest. You’ll go over the basics of housing assignments, Chapter 33, and ten-codes, but none of it will make much sense to you until you see it in action. And you’ll be thrown onto the compound with almost no understanding of how a prison actually works. You’ll learn bad habits from people who have been doing the job for years, and then you’ll find someone who tells you how wrong you’re doing it. It’s okay, you’re still just a C.O.T. – a Correctional Officer in Training. Nobody expects much out of you yet, so don’t get your panties in a twist. That’ll come later.
2. Good boots are worth more than you’re willing to spend. Get it out of the way now. I went to Academy Sports and bought some Tactical Performance boots that cost less than $50. That was the worst footwear I’ve ever put on my feet. My feet and back were in severe pain for the entire first two weeks. As soon as I got a payday I bought some better boots. And some insoles. It cost me three times as much as that first shitty pair of boots, but it was well worth it. I just wish I hadn’t wasted my money and time on the cheap ones. So maybe don’t do that.
3. Your coworkers hate you, until one day they don’t. Maybe. Some people hate that there are new officers being hired making just as much as they are after working here for years. And most of the newbies won’t stay. That’s just the reality of corrections; turnover is high. So until you prove that you’re not just passing through, some people won’t give you the time of day. Or they’ll have you searching the compound for a “bunk stretcher.” The best way you can prove to them you’re worth their time is to find that pesky bunk stretcher as fast as possible. Trust me. It’s that important.
4. Inmates are going to try you. It’s just part of the game. They’ll try to find out all about you to build a friendship with you; they’ll ask you for favors and items they know they shouldn’t have; and they’ll get angry and make a lot of noise when you don’t give them what they want. Don’t get sucked into a pissing match with someone who squats and coughs on command. “No” is a complete sentence.
5. Don’t be a “go-fer.” Unless you want to be, then go nuts. Something you’ll find out about inmates is, they don’t need anything until someone else needs it first. And then they all need it. And they’re entitled to have certain basic needs, like soap, food, and toilet paper. But don’t get caught in an endless shift of answering to inmates. Give them what they are required to have, but do it on your time, not theirs. I had to learn the hard way that sometimes the right answer to an inmate calling you is no answer at all. You’ll get to it when you get to it.
Coffee Break: If I could go back and hand Rookie Mathena one piece of gear before his first shift, it wouldn’t be a fancy duty belt or a nice tactical watch – it would’ve been a better pair of boots. Try to get this one right on the first try. I’ll do a review of some boots I’ve had experience with in a future post.
Until then, stay safe, stay caffeinated, and try not to become tomorrow’s Daily Cluster.
-D. Mathena
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