When I worked at the county jail in my 20s, I was simply not cut out for Corrections. The truth of the matter is, I was a nice guy. A people pleaser. I wanted to be known as a “good officer,” even by inmates. This, of course, made me vulnerable to manipulation, even though I didn’t know it at the time.
Fast forward about 25 years, and I’m a completely different person. I’ve been hardened by a lifetime of seeing the worst that humankind has to offer. I’m a little cynical and a touch sarcastic, and I hate people. No, really. I tolerate a handful of people, but the rest of you folks can eat a dick.
When I first started my job at the prison, I noticed a surprising number of young officers being hired. Some as young as 18 or 19. I thought back to my time at the jail and thought, “there’s no way some of these kids can hold their own in this environment — they haven’t even found themselves yet.” That thought has really stuck with me. What really made me ready to take on this job at present is that I know who I am. I don’t need to prove anything to anybody. I have no problem being brutally honest, even if it pisses someone off. And I’m not afraid to say “no” in my CO voice, with my whole damn chest, and then walk away. And never once wonder if I did the right thing.
You see, the word “no” is powerful. And here’s why:
“No” is an entire sentence. It needs no explanation. You don’t need inflection in your voice; you need punctuation — a period. An exclamation point. End of sentence, full stop. Anything else will signal uncertainty and weakness that people (inmates, coworkers, family members, etc.) will attempt to exploit.
But in order for it to mean something, an officer needs to be able to say “no” and mean it. Stand behind it. And if need be, back it up with force.
You can always reverse a “no.” If an inmate asks for something and you’re not sure of the answer, the answer should automatically be “no.” If, later, you realize the inmate is allowed, you can always change your answer. But it’s a lot harder to change from “yes” to “no.” Once you’ve given the thing, it could be a fight to get it back.
“No” is hard for some people. I was taught from childhood that I was not allowed to tell anyone no without a reason. I realized much later in life that I don’t need a reason to set boundaries. But some people never learn that lesson. So their default is to go along with the flow. Those are the parents giving the crying child what she wants because it will appease her. They’re the ones being taken advantage of, manipulated, and victimized by criminals. And they’re the Correctional Officers who run their asses off for inmates, and sometimes get caught up and lose their jobs. “Yes” is easy; “no” takes guts. In this job, “no” should be the default.
It took me a few years to realize it, but a good officer isn’t measured by how pleased everyone is with him or her; as a correctional officer you’re measured by how firm, fair, and consistent you are. Those are the hallmarks of a good CO. So you want to be effective in corrections? Practice saying “no” and meaning it. It may take a few attempts to get it right, but keep trying. It will get easier.
And in the meantime, stay safe, stay caffeinated, and try not to become tomorrow’s Daily Cluster.
– D. Mathena
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